Seeing as I don’t have the patience to completely describe my camp experience (it would take a very long time) I will share the end of my camp experience, as it is the most fresh in my mind, and also what I have been wanting to share with someone.
So I stayed behind an extra four days at camp, for more money and for relatively free room and board. I stayed with one of my co-staff, who I got along with, but not without a little bit of effort. I wish we gelled more, but I felt that we always clashed a little bit. I’m not too sure, I’m not the most socially aware person.
Anyway. The children left on the 14th of August. That night was boat cruise, a night of drunkenness and debauchery, and a tale unto itself (which I shall not tell just yet). The bunk councillors, mostly Americans left on the morning of the 15th, leaving the majority of the Activity Councillors to work when the Alumni came. They all left on the morning of the 18th. I barely held it together when my good friend Aaron, the volleyball councillor, left on the 16th I think it was. I had to go away and cry once he had gone. I kind of broke down when everyone left on the morning of the 18th. It was rushed, and full of quick hugs.
Anyway, on the 22nd I flew down to Miami with Erith, who I worked with for that time. I spent a few days down there, and then I left on the morning of the 26th for home. The thing is, the night before, the majority of us got quite drunk, which I already knew would suck, because it ruins goodbyes completely. People are hungover and recovering, so they aren’t awake at the right times.
So, when the time came for me to leave (I was catching the bus with 3 girls from my hostel room) there were 3 people up, and all I considered myself relatively close to. I said to them, “Well, I’m leaving now.”
“To where?” one asked.
“I’m going home.” I replied.
Then I just fucking pushed the initiative, because I could tell none of them really gave a fuck. I told the two Sydney people I’d see them at home, and the British dude who I’ve shared a room with for the entire summer, I gave an awkward hug and said bye.
Then I caught a bus and a plane. Before I left the girls from my hostel room, I got a quick hug, and I got more affection from these girls I’d known for a matter of days, than from the people I’d known for two and a half months. That really broke my heart. All these people I never got to say bye to, and the ones who I actually did, didn’t give a shit. I know nobody really cares about me (with a few notable exceptions), but when nobody even said anything or stood up for a hug, it really hurt. I was leaving America for home, a big deal at the end of camp, and nobody cared. The one who did was asleep and recovering from a hangover. Not her fault, really. I don’t judge her, I just wish she’d been up so I got a hug from someone who cared.
This is what I’ve been thinking about since I got home-the whole “who actually cares” business. It was unfortunate that the person who I was close to at camp, Anthony, was more interested in Skyping his girlfriend than being friends with anyone on camp. He could have made a bigger effort and made more friends, but he didn’t.
I strive to be more than that if I end up returning to camp, which, at the moment, I am really hoping happens. I am saving my tax return for flights, which is a decent amount.
Anyway, enough sadness from me. Time for music and sleep.